Shitsuren (broken-hearted)
by Usa
Summary: For those who reviewed this fic... I fixed the chapter mess up. Sorry about that!! ^^;; Chibiusa is hit by a car and Usagi blames herself.... Co-written with Emiri Please R&R!! *puppy dog eyes*
1. Default Chapter

Title: Shitsuren ("broken hearted")  
Rated: PG-13  
Authors: Usa (Usako0@aol.com) and Emiri (bunny_s_@hotmail.com)  
Notes: AU  
  
************  
Shitsuren ("broken hearted")  
Part 1  
************  
  
  
Chibimoon rolled out of the way as Moon launched a flying kick.   
  
"You're supposed to counter attack," Jupiter explained to the younger Senshi. "Sailor Moon, come at me like that."   
  
Moon's eyes widened. "Are you crazy!?"   
  
"She's not going to hurt you, Sailor Moon," Ami reasoned.   
  
"If you won't , baka, I will!" Mars said haughtily.   
  
"No, no, I got it," she replied. Sailor Moon then ran towards Jupiter, repeating the same attack. Jupiter grabbed her foot and, as gently as possible, slammed her into the ground.   
  
"Owie..." Moon said, rubbing her rear.   
  
"See what I did?" Jupiter asked Chibimoon.   
  
Chibimoon nodded. "Haaaai...can I practice it now?"   
  
Ami nodded. "Go on, Sailor Moon."   
  
"Why is it always me," she muttered, attacking Chibimoon.   
  
Chibmoon copied Jupiter, avoiding the foot somewhat, then grabbing it and flinging her mother to the ground. "Yay!"   
  
"Oi... we should stop now," Sailor Moon told them. Besides the fact her rump was sore, she and Chibiusa needed to get to the grocery store for her mom.   
  
"We can't practice anymore?" Chibiusa whined.   
  
"We need to pick up the groceries for Mama, remember?"   
  
"Oh, haaai... Anyone else wanna come with us?"   
  
"I have my cooking class in an hour," Makoto replied.   
  
"I've got to get back to the temple," Rei said.   
  
Ami smiled. "I would, but we have that test in two weeks and I need to study. I'm already behind."   
  
"And I'm going shopping!" Minako exclaimed. "Then I might drop by the arcade and visit Motoki..."   
  
Everyone else sweatdropped at this. "I guess it's just us," Chibiusa said.   
  
"Okay," Usagi said. "Ja ne!" The girls said their good byes, planning to meet at the Shrine early in the morning.   
  
***********  
  
After getting all the groceries, the girls stumbled home. "Do I really hafta carry this all?" Chibiusa whined. "It's so big and akward, I'm afraid it'll spill everywhere."   
  
"I'd help you, but I'm having a hard time juggling two bags myself, Chibiusa."   
  
"I can't even see overtop of mine." Just as she said that, Chibiusa's bag split, spilling it's contents. "Rats!" she exclaimed, chasing after the goods that went rolling in every direction. "Finally," she said, standing up after grabbing the last stray melon.   
  
Usagi had stopped for a moment, adjusting her bags. She looked above them just in time to see Chibiusa standing in the middle of the street... with a car baring down on her! She wasn't going to reach her so Usagi threw the bags down and called out to her. "Chibiusa, watch out!"   
  
"Nani?" Chibiusa turned to see a car barelling down upon her. The car's brakes squealed, and she tried to jump out of the way, but it was too late. She went rolling up and over the hood, then fell off to the side.   
  
"Chibiusa!" Usagi cried out again, racing towards her. She plowed her way through the crowd that had gathered and knelt next to her. "Chibiusa!" The girl didn't respond. "Could someone call an ambulance, kudasai!"   
  
A man was already on his cell phone. "The ambulance will be here soon," he reassured.   
  
"A-arigatou..." Usagi looked back at Chibiusa. *Kami, let her be all right!*   
  
***************  
  
Usagi paced back and forth. She was so worried about Chibiusa... What is Mamoru going to think? What about her friends? *They're going to hate me!*  
  
Speaking of Mamoru, Usagi realized she needed to call him so she walked over to the phones. "M-mamo-chan..." she whispered when he answered.   
  
"Usako! What's wrong?!"   
  
"Chibiusa..."   
  
"Nani yo? What happened?"   
  
Usagi took a deep breath. "She... a car... we're at the hospital."   
  
"Is she..."   
  
"Iie!" she replied. "I-I need you..."   
  
"I'll be right there!"   
  
Usagi hung up the phone and paced around for another few minutes. Drained, she sat in one of the chairs. She couldn't believe what had happened. Chibiusa is her future daughter! How could she betray her like that! She's supposed to protect her from harm. Usagi stared straight ahead and thought the same thing over and over in her head... *It's all my fault.*   
  
"Usako?" Mamoru saw her sitting there forlornly. Usagi didn't reply. "Usako?" he repeated, gently touching her shoulder.   
  
She looked over at him but still didn't answer. "You're in shock," he murmured, half to himself. "We should get you a doctor too."   
  
"Gomen..."   
  
"For what?" Instead of replying, she flung herself into his arms. She was sure he could feel her shaking.   
  
He wrapped his arms around her. "She'll be alright...she has to be."   
  
"Tsukino-san." The couple looked up to see the doctor. She stood and still felt Mamoru's arm around her.   
  
"What is it, doctor?" Mamoru knew Usagi was in no shape to answer.   
  
"You are?"   
  
"I'm a good friend."   
  
The doctor nodded. "Chibiusa is in serious condition. The impact from the car caused much internal bleeding, which we were able to stop. She's still unconscious and it's hard to say for how long. She also has a broken leg."   
  
Usagi remained quiet. She felt sick to her stomach and her head was reeling from whole situation.   
  
Mamoru inhaled sharply. *At least she's not dead...*   
  
"Can we see her?" Usagi finally spoke up.   
  
"Of course, but only for a bit. She's in the Children's ICU. I have rounds so I'll send a nurse up to take you there," he replied.   
  
*****  
  
Usagi barely said a word as a nurse led them to Chibiusa's room. She felt Mamoru squeeze her hand, but she couldn't bring herself to look at him. She knew this whole thing was her fault. If Chibiusa didn't wake up, Usagi would never forgive herself.   
  
She didn't even notice that they had arrived at her room, and the nurse was gone. "Usako? This is her room..." he said gently.   
  
"I-I don't know if I can go in there," she whispered softly, staring at the door. She could still feel herself shaking.   
  
"I'm here with you," he said, squeezing her hand again.   
  
With a nod, Usagi slowly turned the door knob and the two stepped into the room. It was quiet except for the machines and Chibiusa's breathing. Breathing... She was still alive and Usagi had to remember that. As they neared the bed, Usagi let out a gasp. The little girl had bruises on her face and tubes everywhere. And Usagi was feeling light headed. "Kami-sama..."   
  
"Are you going to faint?" Mamoru could feel her body getting limp. She nodded and fell into his arms. Mamoru set her down gently beside Chibiusa, until she came to again.   
  
Mamoru sighed, and went to call Ikuko and the Senshi. He dialed Usagi's house first. Ikuko answered on the second ring. "Hello, this is Mamoru," he said.   
  
"Mamoru-san!" Ikuko replied. "Usagi's not here right now. I'm getting a bit worried about her..."   
  
"I"m...actually with her. And Chibiusa...She was hit by a car walking home, we're at the hospital now. The doctors have stabilized her, and she's resting in the PICU."   
  
"Kami-sama! I'll be there as soon as possible!" Ikuko paused. "May speak with Usagi?"   
  
"She's with Chibiusa...I'm afraid it was too much for her...she passed out. But she's otherwise alright."   
  
"Arigatou... for taking care of my girls. I'll be there soon."   
  
"Alright." After they had hung up, Mamoru called the other Senshi, they each having the same reaction.   
  
Usagi moaned. "Mamo-chan..."   
  
"Sleeping Beauty awakes," he said quietly.   
  
"Chibiusa!" Usagi sat up with a start. "Why couldn't it have been a dream?"   
  
"She's going to get better, Usako."   
  
Usagi nodded. "Will you hold me?"   
  
Mamoru nodded. "Of course." He wrapped his arms around her. 


	2. 2

*************  
Shitsuren ("broken hearted")  
Part 2  
By Usa and Emiri  
*************  
  
Ikuko walked into the room a few moments later. "Daijoubou, Usagi?"  
  
"Mama!" Usagi exclaimed, rushing to her mother in tears.  
  
Ikuko hugged her daughter. "What exactly happened?" she asked, trying not to seem too shaken by the pale form of Chibiusa in the hospital bed.  
  
"We were walking home from the grocery store. I-I gave her too many bags to carry and I wasn't paying attention to where she was at. A car came out of no where and I couldn't save her! Gomen nasai mama!!" Usagi finished, leaping into Ikuko's arms  
  
"It's not your fault, Usagi. I'm going to go find a doctor, see what the prognosis is."  
  
"Okei..."  
  
********  
  
Ikuko walked out of the room, shutting the door behind her. Only then did she let the tears flow. Chibiusa...her second daughter. She had to stay strong for Usagi, though. She knew that Usagi would blame herself, and be incredibly upset. Family came first.  
  
Makoto was rushing to Chibiusa's room when she spotted Usagi's mother. "Tsukino-san!"  
  
"Makoto...I take it Usagi called you." Ikuko was caught off guard, and hurredly wiped the tears away. "Don't tell Usagi I was crying, okei?"  
  
"I won't," she replied with a small smile. "She'll be all right, Tsukino-san. Chibiusa-chan is a very strong little girl!"  
  
Ikuko nodded. "I know. But I've got to stay strong for the rest of my family."  
  
Makoto put a hand on Ikuko's shoulder. "We all have to lean on someone at one time or another."  
  
"I suppose...anyway, you can go in and see Chibiusa. I'm going to go find a doctor who can tell me exactly what's going and and how she is."  
  
She bowed. "Ja ne, Tsukino-san."   
  
"Konbanwa, minna," Makoto said to Ami, Minako, and Rei.  
  
"How is she?" Ami asked.  
  
"I haven't gone in to see her yet. I saw Tsukino-san though. She was going to find the docotor."   
  
"Well, let's go in," Minako said. "Usagi-chan needs us." The girls nodded and Ami knocked on the door.   
  
"Come in," Usagi said.  
  
The girls entered slowly, not exactly sure what they were going to find. "Konbanwa, minna," Mamoru said.  
  
Usagi was sitting in a chair next to Chibiusa's bed. She wasn't moving and she didn't say a word. The little girl looked so pale and fragile lying there with the machines humming and her bruised limbs and body. "Usagi-chan, would you like anything to eat?" Rei asked.  
  
"Iie."  
  
"But, Usagi-chan you have to eat something," Ami said.  
  
Makoto knelt in front of her. "I made you some roast beef sandwiches."  
  
"Iie."  
  
"Maybe Usagi-chan just isn't hungry," Minako said, taking the sandwiches and putting them on a far table.  
  
Ami wasn't so certain. Usagi is hungry at any time of the day. She looked at everyone and motioned them to step out into the hall for a moment.  
  
They all followed her. "Hai, Ami-chan?" Rei said.  
  
"Usagi-chan doesn't want to eat because she's afraid Chibiusa-chan won't make it. She's also blaming herself for what happened. Wondering why she couldn't save her in time," Ami explained. "Don't try and push it or she my lose it."  
  
"That's why I took the sandwiches away," Minako said. "Reverse psychology."  
  
"I see," Makoto replied. "All we can really do is be there for her."  
  
"Haaaai," Rei said slowly. "And we have to have faith that Chibiusa-chan will get better and wake up."  
  
**  
  
On the other side of the door, Mamoru was examining Makoto's sandwiches. "These look really good, Usa. I think I'm going to have one...you sure you don't want one?"  
  
She only shrugged. Mamoru walked back to where she was and sat beside her. He took a bite, knowing that Usagi was watching him.  
  
"Mamo-chan..."  
  
"Hai, Usako?" Before he could take another bite, she grabbed the sandwhich and shoved it into her mouth. Mamoru smiled. "I knew you were hungry. Starving yourself isn't going to help Chibiusa any, you know that."  
  
"I know," she replied around roast beef.  
  
"I'm sure she's going to get better. She's strong."   
  
Suddenly the heart monitor was signaling a flatline. Usagi's eyes widened, and she nearly choked on the sandwich. "Chibiusa!"  
  
A doctor came running in. "Clear out!" he yelled as a nurse came with the defribulator.  
  
Usagi felt Mamoru pull her away from the bed. "Iie, Mamo-chan! She can't be alone!" she cried.  
  
"We have to clear out," he said, hugging her as another nurse ushered them into the hall.   
  
"What happened?" Minako asked.  
  
"Chibiusa is..." Usagi couldn't finish. She broke out of Mamoru's grasp to try and get back into the room.  
  
"Iie, Usagi-chan!" Rei said, grabbing her arm.  
  
Usagi nodded, tears coursing down her cheeks. She moved back towards Mamoru. "Is she going to...?"  
  
"We have to keep believing..." She wrapped her arms around him and lay her head on his chest. The steady beat of his heart calmed her somewhat.  
  
He held her close as they paged "Code Blue, STAT!" over the intercom. More doctors came rushing in.  
  
"Iie... onegai..." Usagi whispered, tightening her hold on Mamoru. She tried desparately to ignore the sounds of the hospital.  
  
Makoto held Ami's hand, each praying for the best. They looked at Usagi worriedly. If Chibiusa did die, what would Usagi do?  
  
*The future will be changed* Rei thought. *That means the past will change. It can't be..*  
  
A few more doctors and nurses rushed past Usagi-tachi, this group with a guerny. "We have to move her!" they heard the doctors say. "1, 2, 3."  
  
"Nani?" Usagi cried. "Where are they taking her?"  
  
They rushed past with Chibiusa's lifeless form on the guerny. "We have to take her to the OR. She's begun to bleed internally, and her heart is going to stop if we can't repair the damage."  
  
Usagi's heart skipped a beat. "Mamo-chan!"  
  
"You have to stay here," a nurse said before rushing to the elevator. "Someone will come along soon to keep you informed."  
  
"I couldn't find a..." Ikuko's words died on her lips when she saw the group gathered outside the now empty room. "What happened?" she asked quietly.  
  
Ami explained the situation to her. "We have to stay here though, and wait for someone to let us know what's going on," she finished.  
  
"Kami--"  
  
Usagi was feeling a bit light headed again. "Did they say what's bleeding?" Ikuko asked finally.  
  
Usagi couldn't stand it anymore. It was really hot in that waiting room and that sandwich was heading right back up. With a cry, she ran off to the restroom.  
  
"Usagi-chan!" Minako shouted. "Where are you going?"  
  
Rei ran after Usagi.  
  
***********  
  
Usagi emptied the contents of her stomach into the toilet. When she was finished, she leaned back. She was clammy and shaky. Things like this weren't supposed to happen to little girls. "Chibiusa..."  
  
"Usagi? You in here?"  
  
She looked up. "Rei-chan."  
  
"I can't even imagine how you must be feeling right now...but I'm here for you."  
  
Usagi got up and ran into Rei's arms. "Kami-sama, I can't help but think the worst!"  
  
"I know," Rei said, hugging her. "I was thinking the same thing...but we have to believe..."  
  
"It's my fault," Usagi said, pulling away from Rei. "I should have been watching her more carefully. I-I have to..." Usagi never finished, she ran out the door.  
  
"Usagi-chan..." Rei sighed and ran after her. Life would be so much simpler if Usagi stopped running. Usagi ran past everyone in the waiting room and out of the hospital.  
  
Rei sprinted past everyone. "Usagi's run off again," she panted. "I don't think she should be alone."  
  
Makoto stood up. "I'm going with her!" 


	3. 3

*************  
Shitsuren ("broken hearted")  
Part 3  
By Usa and Emiri  
*************  
  
A half an hour later, Usagi slowed to a trot. It was really dark out. Not a star in the sky. She also noticed that she was in a part of town that was unknown to her. "Baka! You've gotten yourself lost!"   
  
"Oh, but I've found you," a male voice said.  
  
"N-nani?" Usagi jumped.  
  
"What ya got for me, babe?"  
  
Usagi's heart thumped in her chest. "I-I don't have anything..."  
  
"I'm sure you've got some money or somethin' you don't need."  
  
"Gomen, but I don't have any money on me," she replied shakily.  
  
He advanced on her. "You look like a nice girl...so gimme somethin'!"  
  
Usagi's eyes darted back and forth. Unfortunately, there was no one around to help her. "Gomen," she said again, turning to head back in the direction she came from.  
  
"Come on now, girlie," he said, grabbing her arm.  
  
"Let me go! You're hurting me!"  
  
The man pulled her closer. "Well, if you can't give me any money, then there's something else you can give me..." He smiled evilly and pulled her close to him.  
  
"Onegai, let me go. I don't have anything for you!"   
  
"Oh, but you have much to offer, you yummy onna."  
  
"I think you need to let go of her!" Usagi turned to see Motoki.  
  
"Easy buddy," the man said, before shoving Usagi towards Motoki and fleeing.  
  
Usagi hugged Motoki tightly. "Motoki-oniisan!"  
  
"Usagi-chan? Daijobou? What are you doing here?"  
  
"I-I... Kami, what am I doing? I need to get back to the hospital!" she exclaimed.  
  
"Hospital? What happened?"  
  
She looked at the ground. "Chibiusa was hit by a car this afternoon. I-I was running away. Trying to get away from the pain. But... but I almost found more pain." Usagi flung herself into Motoki's arms again. "Oh Motoki-oniisan, I feel so lost!"  
  
"Don't worry, Usagi...we're not far from my house. I'll just get my car and drive you back."  
  
"A-arigatou..."  
  
***********  
  
Rei and Makoto arrived back at the hospital. Ikuko asked where Usagi was. "We couldn't find her, Tsukino-san," Makoto replied. "Gomen ne."  
  
"Kami...I hope she's alright..."  
  
"I'm sure she is," Ami replied. "When she's upset she usual stays in her room, ne?"   
  
"Haaai," Ikuko nodded.  
  
"How's Chibiusa-chan?" Makoto asked.   
  
"They stopped the bleeding...but she's still unconcious."  
  
Ami looked towards the elevators. "Usagi-chan!" Motoki was with her.  
  
"Motoki-kun!" Mamoru was surprised to see his friend there.  
  
"Konbanwa, minna," he replied. "I found this one wondering around my neighborhood. Does she belong to any of you?"  
  
"Thank you for bringing her back." Ikuko smiled slightly.  
  
"Not a problem," Motoki replied with a bow. "Usa, keep your chin up! Ja ne, minna-san!"  
  
"Ja ne, Motoki-oniisan! Arigatou!" Usagi said as he disappeared into the elevator. She waited for the outburst from hermother. Ikuko said nothing. "Ne, Mamo-chan..."  
  
"Hai?"  
  
"Is Chibiusa all right? Can I see her?"  
  
"She's still unconcious, demo you can go in."  
  
Usagi nodded and went to the door. She turned to look at Mamoru, telling him with her eyes to follow her, and entered the room. Mamoru followed behind  
  
She sank into the chair, wondering if her face was as white as a sheet. The experience in Motoki's neighborhood was frightening as hell! *Baka Usagi...*  
  
She looked over at Mamoru. He had a questioning look on his face. Instead of saying anything, she turned back to face Chibiusa.  
"Usako, what happened?"  
  
"Nani?" she asked. "What makes you think anything happened?"  
  
"Well, you ran off, and now you look like a frightened rabbit."  
  
"Oh... Mamo-chan, I'm baka!"  
  
"What happened?"  
  
Usagi sighed. "I-I almost got mugged, but Motoki-oniisan got there in time."  
  
"Nani yo?" Mamoru hugged her tightly.  
  
"I didn't have any money on me and... and he wanted something else..." Usagi began crying again.  
  
"The bastard." Mamoru hissed. "Demo Motoki got there in time, ne?"  
  
"Un..."  
  
"Usako...thank Kami you're alright."  
  
"Will Chibiusa wake up soon?" she asked hopefully.  
  
"We don't know."  
  
"I-I still can't believe this!" Usagi stood up. "My future self sent her here to train! What does she need to train for? She's only 9 years old! See, I'm baka even as Queen!"  
  
"How were you to know that this was going to happen?"  
  
She faced him, tears streaming down her face. "I should have known! It happened in the past, shouldn't I have remembered it?"  
  
"Well, if she was alive in the future, then she must recover, ne?."  
  
Usagi eyed her boyfriend. Was he trying to confuse her into believing this wasn't her fault? "Mou, it doesn't matter! The point is, I screwed up! I'm going to be a horrible mother!"  
  
"Usa, you can't think like that."  
  
"What is everyone crying over?"  
  
"Chibiusa!" Usagi's pity party was left unattended as she ran to the young girl's side. "Daijobu?"  
  
"What...happened to me?"  
  
"You were hit by a car..." Usagi told her. *Because of me.*  
  
"Well, that would explain why I'm here."  
  
"Mamo-chan, see if you can find a doctor."  
  
"Hai." Mamoru left the room in search of a doctor.  
  
Usagi held Chibiusa's hand in hers. She smiled sadly at her. "You know, I won't hold it against you if you hate me."  
  
"Why would I hate you?"  
  
"It's my fault..."  
  
"No it's not, mama."  
  
"You can tell me all you want, Mamo-chan has been, the girls have been, Mama has been. Demo, I'll never believe it's true..."  
  
"Well, I'm strong Mama. I'm gonna heal fast, I can feel it. I'm strong like you."  
  
Usagi nodded slightly and moved away as Mamoru came in with the doctor. "Excuse me, kudasai," he said.  
  
She followed Mamoru to the hall. She looked around the waiting room for her friends, but didn't see them. Suddenly, her communicator beeped. "Hai?"  
  
"Usagi-chan," Makoto said. "Get to your school fast!"  
  
"I'm on my way!" Usagi looked at Mamoru. "Ne, stay with Chibiusa, onegai?"  
  
Mamoru gave her a *look*. "Youma?"  
  
Usagi nodded and turned to leave. "Be careful."  
  
"I will!" 


	4. 4

*************  
Shitsuren ("broken hearted")  
Part 4  
By Usa and Emiri  
*************  
  
Sailor Moon arrived in time to see Mercury and Venus dodge the snake looking youma's sharp fangs.   
  
"Sparkling Wide Pressure!" Jupiter exclaimed.  
  
"Mars Flame Sniper!"  
  
The youma screamed in pain and searched for the nearest human... Sailor Moon. She jumped out of the way of it's fangs. *Remember, Tuxedo Kamen-sama won't be here! Be brave!*  
  
Jupiter ran behind her. "Sailor Moon, don't just jump out of the way, attack it!"  
  
She nodded and shouted, "Sailor Kick!" However, the youma had other plans and grabbed her ankle with it's mouth. She felt the fangs brake through her boots and make contact with her flesh. She cried out in pain.  
  
"Usagi-chan!" Minako yelled. "Venus Love Me Chain!"  
  
Mercury ran over to her. "Daijobu?"  
  
"Un... I'm fine, It just surprised me. Let me kill this thing so we can see Chibiusa."  
  
"Well, let's get on with it!" Mars yelled.  
  
She glared at Mars. "Moon Spiral Heart Attack!"  
  
"Great job, Sailor Moon!" Jupiter said, patting her on the back.  
  
"Arigatou!"  
  
  
"Ssssailor Ssssenshi! You think you're finished here? You killed my onee-sama and now you'll pay!"  
  
"Nani yo?" they exclaimed. Before any of them could do anything, the youma wrapped itself around them all.  
  
"Stop right there! Uncoil yourself from around my friends, you filthy reptile!"  
  
"Chibimoon!?" Moon squealed. "What are you doing here??"  
  
"Saving you!"  
  
"Pink Sugar Heart Attack!"  
  
The youma ucoiled itself as the attack hit. Sailor Moon took a breath and attacked it. "Moon Spiral Heart Attack!"  
  
"Ano..." Moon whispered. She was feeling really light headed and dizzy and her ankle was pounding.   
  
"Minna!" Tuxedo Mask shouted, arriving. "I see I'm too late for any action...Chibimoon, thank Kami you're alright!"  
  
Sailor Moon couldn't see straight anymore and she felt like she was on fire. "Usagi-chan?" Ami said.  
  
"Daijobu?" Makoto asked her. She was looking really pale.  
  
"Look at how swollen her ankle is," Rei said.  
  
"I wonder if that snake was poisonous," Minako mused.  
  
Ami nodded. "Probably," she replied, scanning Usagi's ankle.  
  
"Mamo-chan..."  
  
"Hai, Usako?  
  
Before she could say anything more, she sank to her knees. "Usagi-chan!" Ami exclaimed, holding her friend.  
  
Mamoru scooped her up. "I think it's Usako's turn to visit the hospital," he said grimly. "And Chibiusa needs to get back in bed," he admonished.  
  
"When you're right, you're right," Makoto said with a sigh.  
  
*************  
  
The others waited as patiently as the could from word on Usagi's condition. After a half hour of waiting, he came out. "Excuse me, are you all here for Tsukino-san?"  
  
"Hai."  
  
"Is she going to be alright?" Minako asked.  
  
He sighed. "It's hard to say. The poison in the snake she was bitten by is very potent. We've administered the vaccine for it, but it may be too late. She has a high fever and is experiencing hallucinations. I have to warn you that if you chose to go in there, she won't look like she did a few hours ago."  
  
Ami attempted to hold back her tears. "A-arigatou gozaimasu."  
  
The man nodded and left to do his rounds. "Kami-sama..." Makoto whispered.  
  
"Do you think we'll upset her if we go in?" Rei asked.  
  
"It all depends on whether or not the doctor told her the prognosis, Rei-chan," Ami replied.  
  
"Demo, if she's hallucinating..." Minako said.  
  
Ami couldn't hold her tears in any longer. "G-gomen, I'm not thinking straight..."  
  
"Ami-chan..." Minako hugged her friend. "You spend too much time thinking for all of us. If you don't want to go in there right now, I'll wait out here with you."  
  
"Arigatou, Minako-chan."  
  
Makoto decided to go in. "Is anyone else coming with me?"  
  
"I'll come," Rei said.  
  
"And I will too," Mamoru added.  
  
************  
  
Usagi tossed and turned in the hospital bed. Her head was pounding and she was burning up. However, that wasn't what she felt the most. Somehow, her friends had gotten angry with her that Chibiusa was almost killed by a car. She kept hearing them scream at her, their voices dripping with disdain.  
  
"Usagi-baka," Rei nagged "if you weren't such a ditz, you'dve seen that car coming sooner and saved her."  
  
"Nani, Rei-chan? Gomen nasai! I never meant for it to happen! Don't you know how much I wanted to jump in front of that car myself??"  
  
"You're always looking for the easy way out and playing innocent," Minako said. "But we're on to you."  
  
"You too, Minako-chan!" Usagi whispered, near tears.  
  
"You're such a wimp," Makoto said. "You're pathetic!"  
  
"Mako-chan! Hidoi!"  
  
"You've failed again, Usagi," Ami said. "You'll never be good at anything if you're such a fake."  
  
"Ami-chan..." Usagi watched them turn their backs on her. "Matte! Minna!!!!"  
  
"How could you let this happen to me?" Chibiusa said. "You're so clumsy and good for nothing."  
  
"I knew it... I knew it, Chibiusa. You hate me, don't you?" Usagi bowed. "Sumimasen!"  
  
"Usagi, you disappoint me," Mamoru said.  
  
Usagi ran to Mamoru. "Mamo-chan, surely you can't mean that! You know I tried my hardest to save her!"  
  
"You're never good enough." He too turned away.  
  
"Mamo-chan! Minna! Come back, onegai!!" Usagi fell to the ground, sobbing. "Gomen nasai! Forgive me!!"  
  
"Useless!"   
  
"Baka!"   
  
"Irresponsible!"  
  
Usagi screamed, kicking the sheets off of her. She sat up in bed, sweating profusely. "Kami...."  
  
"Usagi-chan? Can you hear us?" Rei asked quietly.  
  
Makoto eyed Rei. "She's sitting up in bed, what do you think?"  
  
"Rei-chan? Mako-chan?" Usagi turned to the door. Mamoru was right behind them. She suddenly felt weak and laid back down.  
  
"Usako?"  
  
Usagi just looked at him, too tired to say anything more. Besides, wouldn't her dreams come true?  
  
"Should I get the doctor?" Rei asked.  
  
"I hope this is a good sign," Mamoru muttered.  
  
"M-mam-chan..."  
  
"Hai, Usako?"  
  
"You won't leave my side will you?" She took a breath. "I know I'm a disappointment to you with Chibiusa and all, demo, could you make my last day here on Earth special? Onegai..."  
  
Makoto and Rei's eyes widened at Usagi's request. "Usagi-chan, what do you mean?" Rei asked tenatively.  
  
"What do you think I mean, Rei-chan? I'm dying... I may have been given medicine, but I can just feel my life slipping away. I'm powerless to do anything about it."  
  
"Usagi-chan, you can't think like that," Minako said, coming into the room with the doctor behind her.  
  
"If you're coherent and awake, it's a sign the antidote has worked," the doctor explained.  
  
Usagi eyed the doctor warily. "I'm so tired... so hot. And my head is pounding."  
  
"Well, you need to rest," the doctor said. "No getting up, or sitting up if you can help it. Sleep is best. And if you're worried about anyone or anything, that can also cause massive migraines right now."  
  
"What about her ankle?" Makoto asked. "It was really swollen earlier."  
  
"It'll be swollen for awhile, but at least the poison is neutralized."  
  
They all thanked the doctor and he left, reminding Usagi to stay put. After a few minutes of silence, Usagi yawned. "Ano, minna..."  
  
"Hai, Usagi-chan?" Rei said.  
  
"I want to go to sleep now."  
  
"Of course, Usagi-chan!" Makoto replied. "We'll see you in the morning."  
  
"Get some rest, Usako." Mamoru smiled at her.  
  
Usagi nodded and fell asleep before Mamoru could even shut the door.  
  
***********  
  
Chibiusa was happy to finally get out of the hospital. She had healed quickly, and the best news was that Usagi was also ready to leave that morning.  
  
Usagi was a still a bit unsteady on her feet, but the doctor assured them all that she would be fine. She was also glad to hear that Chibiusa was doing good. Her injuries had healed quickly which had shocked the doctors.  
  
"Are you all ready to go?" she asked Usagi when she and Ikuko reached her room.  
  
"Un..." came her quite response.  
  
Usagi was still uncertain about things. Did her friends really say what she heard in her mind? She didn't think they would, but she heard them...  
  
"I"m all better!" Chibiusa danced arund. "Let's go home! I miss my room."  
  
Ikuko laughed with a smile. "All right, let's go, girls!" Usagi lagged behind. "Usagi?"  
  
"Coming, Mama."  
  
"I hope you're not still blaming yourself," Chibiusa whispered.  
  
"Nani?" Usagi laughed. "Iie, I'm fine."  
  
Inside her mind was screaming... *It's your fault, Usagi! She could have been killed!*  
  
Chibiusa nodded slowly. "Okei..."  
  
***********  
  
When Usagi reached the top step of Hikawa Shrine, she sank to the ground. It had really taken a lot out of her. *This will probably affect my performance as a Senshi... Not that it was anything spectacular before...*  
  
"It's Usagi-chan!" Minako cried, running to give her friend a hug.   
  
"And Chibiusa-chan!" Rei said.  
  
"Ko -breath- nichiwa, -breath- minna!"  
  
"Usagi-chan's out of shape," Rei grinned. "Should we do more training?"  
  
Usagi glared at Rei, but said nothing. Ami helped her up. "Daijobu?"  
  
"Hai," she replied. "Arigatou."  
  
"Let's go eat cake!" Chibiusa cried.  
  
"Haaaiii!" Usagi exclaimed.  
  
"She's much better," Makoto said with a laugh.  
  
"Usagi can never resist food," Rei said.  
  
"Shut up, Rei-chan!" she growled then sat down in front of the cake.  
  
Ami stared at her friend. Something was not right. "Ano... We're glad you and Chibiusa-chan are feeling better!"  
  
"Arigatou!" Now Ami was really confused. One second she's angry, the next she's genki.  
  
"Usagi-chan, are you feeling alright?" Minako asked.  
  
"Hai, but I'm a bit a hungry," she said, smiling at Minako.  
  
"Well, let's EAT!" Chibiusa exclaimed. "My body is all healed up and it wants food."  
  
"Okay!" Ami stood up to slice the cake. "Hmm... lets see. 1/3 of 2/5..."  
  
Everyone sweatdropped. "Ami-chaaaan!"  
  
"Hehe... gomen!" she said, and sliced it.  
  
An hour later, the girls were outside chatting. Usagi wasn't saying very much. She was still a bit tired and out of it.  
  
"Ne, Chibiusa, have you talked to your mother yet?" Ami asked.  
  
"Um...not yet..." Chibiusa found the ground interesting. "I mean, she'd already know, ne?"  
  
Makoto put a hand on the younger girl's shoulder and leaned down to whisper, "Don't you think you should?" She then pointed out Usagi, who was sitting a few feet away, chin on her knees.  
  
"What should I say, Mako-chan?"  
  
"Whatever is in your heart."  
  
Chibiusa crossed to Usagi. "I know you're still blaming yourself for what happened to me...but it wasn't your fault. And I'm all better, see."  
  
"Chibiusa..." Usagi looked up at her future daughter. "I can't help but think it. If I had been paying more attention to you..."  
  
"It's not your fault...please stop thinking it is. Let's forget about it, okei?"  
  
Usagi sighed. "I can't stop thinking about it. I can't forget about it. You almost died!"  
  
"Usagi, that's enough!" Rei yelled. She slapped Usagi across the face. "I hate you when you're like this! IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT!!!!"  
  
"Itai!" Usagi cried out. She put a hand to her cheek. That was going to bruise. She stood up. "What the hell was that for, bitch!"  
  
Rei was dumbfounded. "Gomen, Usagi-chan," she said with tears in her eyes.  
  
"Gome, gomen, gomen! That's all I hear from you! What kind of friend are you?? You're always picking on me, saying I'm worthless. I already know that, you don't have to remind me! Now you're slapping me around, well I won't stand for it!" Usagi stood up and looked Rei in the eye. "I hate you!" she screamed, socking Rei in the nose.  
  
"Itai!" Rei cried, hearing and feeling a sickening crack.  
  
"Usagi-chan, Rei-chan! Stop it, onegai!" Ami cried.  
  
Makoto got up to keep Usagi away from Rei. "Usagi-chan, what's wrong with you?"  
  
"Me?? You're asking what's wrong with me?" Instead of letting her answer, Usagi stormed away.  
  
Minako ran to see if Rei's bleeding nose was alright. "I think it's broken...I never meant..."  
  
"We know, Rei-chan," Ami replied. "Usagi-chan is just very emotional right now. It's probably a side affect of the poison. I'll have to see what kind it was..."  
  
***********  
  
Mamoru was walking to the store to get some milk(hey, these things happen) when he saw a very ticked looking Usagi.  
  
He crossed the street to see her, carefully avoiding the oncoming traffic. "Usako! Matte!"   
  
Usagi didn't look up until Mamoru was in front of her. "Nani?" she asked, still a bit ticked.  
  
"What's wrong, Usako?" he asked, studying her.  
  
"Gomen ne," she replied with a sigh. "I didn't mean to snap at you."  
  
"How'd you get that bruise on your cheek?"  
  
She put her hand up to it again. "Um... Rei-chan and I got into a fight..."  
  
"Rei hit you? Naze?"  
  
"It doesn't matter now, but she hate's me, I'm sure." Usagi took a deep breath. "I-I broke her nose."  
  
"Nani YO? WHY?" Mamoru couldn't help the raising of his voice."  
  
She jumped. He never raised his voice to her. "Gomen..." she cried, running off.  
  
Mamoru grabbed her arm. "We're going to go back the shrine, Usa. And the I think you need to get checked back into the hospital. The venom might've given you some side effects."  
  
"Mamo-chan, I don't want to go back there!" Usagi felt a sharp pain in her head and fell limp into his arms.   
  
Mamoru went to a phone and called the shrine. "Moshi moshi, Hino Residence, Kino Makoto speaking."  
  
"Mako-chan, it's Mamoru. What the hell happened?"  
  
"Nani? Have you talked to Usagi-chan or something?"  
  
Figuring he had, Makoto went on to explain what went on between her two friends. "Then Usagi-chan ran off."  
  
"I saw her, and she said that her and Rei got into a fight. Then she collapsed. I'm going to take her back to the hospital, but I wanted to find out what exactly happened."  
  
"Kami... do you need us to come?" she asked.   
  
"No, it's alright. I'll call later." Mamoru hung up and took Usagi back to the hospital. 


	5. 5

**************  
Shitsuren ("broken hearted")  
Part 5  
By Usa and Emiri  
**************  
  
Mamoru silently groaned to himself as he carried Usagi's slumped form to the hospital. She wasn't exactly a feather, and carrying her 16 blocks...  
  
Usagi moaned and shifted a bit. She opened her eyes and looked up at Mamoru. "Where are you taking me?" she asked, icily.  
  
"Where you need to be right now."  
  
"And that would be...?"  
  
"To get checked out by the doctors. Breaking Rei's nose isn't exactly normal behaviour."  
  
"Get real, she deserved it!" Usagi replied. "Now put me down."  
  
"I don't think so. Something's not quite right, Usako, and we have to find out what it is."  
  
Usagi let out a low growl and swung her fist at Mamoru's head. Mamoru moved out of the way just in time. "You see?" he said, dropping her.  
  
"What I see is someone who's afraid to take a punch like a man!" She stood up and crossed her arms. "I can see your conflict. You can't decide whether to smack me or pick me and drag me to the hospital."  
  
"Well, you know I'd never hit you..." Mamoru said, narrowing his eyes. "Which leaves me with choice number two."  
  
Usagi backed away from him. "You have no right, you bastard!"  
  
"Maybe not, but you still need to get checked out. And you have no choice in the matter."  
  
Her eyes widened, realizing what she was doing. She knew she was acting horribly, but she couldn't control her actions. It was as if the good side of her was watching this evil side. Usagi sank to her knees in tears. "G-gomen..." she whispered.  
  
"Come on, Usako." Mamoru tried to help her up.  
  
Usagi pulled him down and hugged him tightly. "Mamo-chan, gomen ne! I've been so horrible and I can't help it!"  
  
Mamoru hugged her back. "Well, it might be an after-effect of the venom..."  
  
"Take me to the hospital before I do something even more unthinkable."  
  
He nodded, standing. "I'm glad you finally agree," he said dryly.  
  
*************  
  
Usagi tapped her foot nervously in hospital waiting room. She and Mamoru were waiting for the doctor to see them.   
  
"Tsukino Usagi?" a nurse finally called.  
  
"Are you coming too, Mamo-chan?" she asked, hopefully.  
  
"Is he a relation?" The nurse asked.  
  
Usagi blushed. "Uh... well..."  
  
The nurse could notice her embarrassment, smile, and let him join her   
"Well, I suppose we'll make an exception." The nurse smiled.  
  
A few minutes later, Usagi sat on the edge of the hospital bed. "Ano, Mamo-chan... Do you think he's going to have to take blood?"  
  
"I'm not sure..." She hated shots and was pouting when the doctor entered.  
  
"Well," he laughed, "back so soon?"  
  
"Afraid so..." Usagi replied. "I'm... I've been having some sidewinders... uh... what was that word?"  
  
"Side effects? From either traces of venom or the anti-venom, deshou."  
  
"That's it!"  
  
The doctor nodded. "Well, we're going to take some blood, and we'll have the results by tomorrow."  
  
Usagi poofed her cheeks. "I don't like my arm being punctured," she whined.  
  
"It'll only sting like a mosquito for a second."  
  
"It'll be alright, Usako. I'll hold your hand."  
  
She smiled at him greatfully and jumped at the slight pinch. Tomorrow... Tomorrow they'd know what was going on with. Now, if only she could keep her anger under control...  
  
Mamoru squeezed her hand. "Almost done."  
  
The doctor finished, wrote something down in a file, and turned to leave. "Are we done?" Mamoru asked.  
  
"Hai, that's it. We'll give you a call tomorrow morning with the results. At that time we'll be able to tell what, if anything is still in your system and give you medicine for it."  
  
Usagi jumped down from the bed. "Arigatou, Sensei."  
  
"You're quite welcome. Now, I hope we don't have to see each other for awhile." The doctor laughed.  
  
************  
  
A few weeks later, Usagi was feeling like herself again. The doctor had given her medicine which helped to abate the side affects of the venom. She still had to talk to Rei, though, but first, there was a certain pink haired child she needed to see...  
  
"Chibiusa!" she called.  
  
"Hai?" Chibiusa came down the stairs to see what Usagi wanted.  
  
"Come with me," she said, smiling and taking her future daughter's hand.  
  
Chibiusa followed her mother. "What is it?"  
  
She led Chibiusa onto the porch and they sat down on the swing. "I wanted to apologize for the way I've been acting." She held up her hand so she could finish. "I know it wasn't my fault and sometimes, things happen beyond my control. I did try to save you... I love you so much even though it may not seem like it."  
  
"I know." Chibiusa nodded.  
  
"Daisuki desu, my musume." Usagi hugged Chibiusa.  
  
Chibiusa hugged her back. "I'm glad you're finally feeling better about all this."  
  
Usagi nodded. "That's one thing... How can I show myself in front of Rei-chan?"  
  
"Well, I don't think she's mad at you...you certainly scared her, though!"  
  
"I guess I'll have to face her soon or later." Usagi stood up. "Are you coming with me to the Shrine? Minna will be there so you wouldn't have to wait outside by yourself."  
  
"Sure, why not?"  
  
Usagi left Chibiusa with the others. Rei was in the Fire Room doing a reading. She knelt down behind her and waited patiently.   
  
Rei sensed Usagi behind her, and her concentration went out the window. "Hai?"   
  
"Rei-chan..."   
  
"I knew it was you, Usagi," she said, turning around.   
  
Usagi didn't know what to say to her. Even though her nose was still sore, Rei tried not to be mean. She couldn't think of anything to say to Usagi.   
  
Usagi got up and walked over to Rei. "Gomen nasai," she whispered, bowing. "Can you find it in your heart to forgive me? I never meant to hurt or say those awful things to you! You're like a sister to me and I love you dearly!"   
  
"Usagi...I forgive you..." Rei looked up at Usagi, her orbs shining. "I know you were stressed out and hurt, and I guess it turned out the snake's venom had aftereffects...and I guess I harp on you too much...."   
  
"Honto, Rei-chan?" Usagi asked, a smile creeping into her features.   
  
"It's not like it was *my* fault you broke my nose..." Rei raised an eyebrow.   
  
The smile was wiped from her face and she looked at the floor. "Gomen..."   
  
"Usagi-baka, I'm joking..." Rei grinned at her.   
  
Usagi laughed and hugged Rei. "You're crazy!"   
  
Usagi put a finger to her lips, telling Rei to be quiet, and tiptoed over to the door. She slid it open fast and four girls toppled into the room.   
  
Ami was the first to stand up. "Ano..."   
  
"How did you know, Usagi?" Rei giggled.   
  
"I sensed my daughter," she replied, pulling Chibiusa off the floor.   
  
Makoto playfully slapped Chibiusa. "Baka!"   
  
Chibiusa blocked it before Mako could hit her, and counterslapped. "Wow," Usagi said, eyes wide. "I can never do that!"   
  
"Shall we do some training?" Minako asked, now that everyone had gotten off her back.   
  
"We really should," Ami replied. "After all, we have to keep Usagi-chan from getting bitten by any more youma."   
"Ami-chaaan!"   
  
  
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